Wednesday, September 05, 2007 . 11:46 PM

You were my everything in the past.
For the present, you still have a big impact on me.
Whatever that you say or do, it does have an impact on me.

Kah Peng is sort of envying me that I can still be friends with you as per normal.
Going out together, have fun and all.
I dare not have such envy.
Because I'll think and think to a point where I've lost my composure.
I can be firm and move on with my life.
But why do such an envy actually made me think so much?
I don't understand.
I don't know what is it that I really want anymore.
See! Composure lost.
Darn!

I never want to start pinning hopes.
Never even want to start having dreams of you.
Never even want to lose any more weight because of you.
But why do I find myself doing all these things again?

Why do I still dream of you?
Why do I start pinning hopes even if it's a 0.001% chance to start all over again?
Why do I start finding myself to avoid food again?
I can't find a logical answer..

I knew I missed you. Especially after going out with you as a friend and talking or chatting with you.
I don't know why.
Was it because I still loved you?
This time round, I really do not know how to answer.

Work is alright. Having fun working.
With my blur-ness and all, think AMs have nothing to say at times. =p
Still hanged out often with LA-ers.
Nothing much.

Finally said something I don't expect myself to say.
Think was because I got too sick that it damaged my brain lar =p
Anyway, there's no rejection, no nothing.
Just that perhaps we both weren't really ready. It's all a matter of time and fate.
So leave it to let nature take its own course. :)
But still, I don't like reading between the lines...
Because whatever he's doing, it sort of made me feel, some feelings were involved...
Sigh.
Whatever.

Just be contented with whatever I have is fine already.
Tomorrow will be a better day.