Wednesday, August 30, 2006 . 11:41 PM

today is a rainy day.
it rained cats and dogs.
and of course, i love rainy days.
but hate it when it's time to go home and the rain just continues pouring. hehe.
i remembered i loved to cry when i'm sad during rainy days, so no one can see when you are crying. =)
and i still love doing it again.
but, i'm not sad today. =x

anyway, certain things happened.
just hope she's fine and won't worry so much.
the school won't throw us anywhere.
so smile okay?

additional workload added...
gotta do research and gather people's biodata for MDA.
goodness me!
i havent found my 2 storey-house yet!!
haiz...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 . 9:34 PM

when location scout today again.
with dear..
at bukit timah.
tiring sia..
i don't know how much longer i still can hold on.
but it only proves that i'm not cut out for this line.

and i'm wondering now what am i supposed to do in the office tomorrow.. hahaha..
serious.
i've got nothing else to do.
so damn bored.
and i guess i can't even return to esss on thursday either.
so sad.
*pouts*

but well, I looked forward to friday..
where i'll be going down to comex fair with dear, joy and probably jeremy..
and at the same time, we can catch up on what's happening lately. hehehe.
=)

and gals outing (eling, jiang and xinyan).. has yet to be confirmed since jiang started work at her attachment company. haha.. =)

Monday, August 28, 2006 . 5:47 PM

was it something i did wrong.
or was i over sensitive?
somebody please tell me..

i seriously don't know what's happening.
or was it because i'm so damn bored that i'm thinking anyhow.
or was it because everyone's feeling so moodless and no motivation to work?
i seriously don't know..

or maybe, i should just simply isolate myself from everybody..
one person go work.
one person go lunch.
one person go home.
at times, being an individualistic is not a bad idea.
the tranquility of peace is there.
and yes, i do love peace and quietness, at times. at work now.
feeling kinda tired though i had 8 hours of sleep last night.
don't know the reason behind all these tiredness.
i still have 4 hours plus to go.
my goodness.
so long..
and i will treat my eyes good by not using the lappy too long at night.
or rather every night.
it's very tedious to strain my eyes looking at the screen for so long.

and dear's like stopping work on wednesday.
i wish for a day off. hehe.
then i can do what i want..
like swimming, slacking..
and stuffs...
even to the movies..
been long since i last went to the movies too.
haha..
but well, earning money is more important huh?
how else am i going to get the things that were needed at home..
needed for myself.

alrights, i so feel like sleeping now.
zZzZZz...

Saturday, August 26, 2006 . 10:48 PM

got back home not long.
had our dinner outside since my dad has a dinner at pan-pacific.
ate long johns.
alrights.
this week is really a fast-food week for me. ate mac twice, kfc once, BK once.
so fattening..
no more lunch for me next week. =p
or maybe i should cut down on my intake of food. hehehe.

shopped at century square and tampines mall after dinner.
bought a new shirt at esprit. 2 for $39. so hehe.. shared with my mom. =)
it's a new colour added to my wardrobe.
so happy..
shall wear that when we celebrate 19 month. =)

and now, i'm tired again.
how to stay up late to watch meteor garden 2??
dao ming si!!! hehehee.. =p

Friday, August 25, 2006 . 11:27 AM

Production is cancelled!
No late nights. Hehehe.
And I can go COMEX fair.
Get my BIG MICKEY from dear.
go back ESSS with the ESSS gang.
hopefully we can have the time to go back lar.

I seriously do miss the ESSS gang.
And I miss the ESSS teachers like Mrs Lee.
I wished I can go back to secondary school days too. Hehehe.
Teachers' Day is coming! =)

Who's on to go back ESSS??





I'm hungry now. Hehehe.. So hungry... Just finished watching er zuo. And my conclusion:
被爱与爱人的感觉是不一样的。

I rather be loved than to love someone.
As loving someone always hurts the most.
Thus, being loved is still the best.
And sometimes, out of nowhere, I will ponder..
Do I love him as much as he loves me?
Yes, would be my answer.

However, there will be times when I will think about how this relationship is progressing.
I often asked myself, will we be able to sustain this relationship as the days progresses.
What if one day... the feeling fades off?
There's no more heart beat thumping real fast better known as 没有心跳加速的感觉。
Just as how someone mentioned before, the feeling is so mutual and everyone's feeling comfortable with each other party.
That's what I'm feeling..
Being so comfortable with him and stuffs..
It's just a WHAT IF.

Maybe it's the after-math of watching er zuo. Hehe...
But anyway, I'm alright. Just some thoughts I'm thinking a few days back. =)
Nitez

Thursday, August 24, 2006 . 12:11 AM

juz came back from noi their bbq..
specially organised for their grp, produzione and erina's fyp grp.
and now, i'm back at my own comfy home.
with xiaowei staying overnite. hehehe..

anyway, went to scout for office again..
walked 6 hours straight okie?
and it's from city hall to tanjong pagar..
omg! so tiring can..
but we enjoyed ourselves though. hehehe..

and we ended work today at like 7.30pm!
so late can. hehe..
and dear came down to udc today..
coz i told him to come down since we still having meeting.
and so.. after that, we went for the bbq..

okay..
guess all i need to do and say is sorry dear.
but just hope that you'll understand lar. okie?
=)

anyway.. jen has a new lobang again!! always one..
and we can't do it..
but xiaowei and i was hoping.. well, we will be able to do it..
imagine.. 2 min clip to countdown for 2007 at esplanade..
cool huh? hehehe..

and i'm wondering now.. what will i do at work tomorrow..
sighs.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 . 9:34 PM

did nothing today again..
until xiaowei dated me to go recee open concept office with her at suntec. haha..
and ck(my boss) gave the green light to go ahead. hehehe..
and so we settled the stuffs that needs to be settled..
like faxing the requests for sponsorship..
and off we go!

almost went dead before reaching suntec lar. hehe.
coz we were so so so hungry.. =p
and we walked and walked and walked..
till we reach basement..
FOOD! hehehe..
and so we ate mac for our lunch..
before the hunt for an open concept office starts..

started off from suntec tower 1 - 44th and 43rd floor..
and all the way we go till suntec tower 3 - the 28th floor (our last search for the day)
tiring.. but fun. hehe..
coz from all the high floor offices, we get to see a picturesque view of all the buildings..
so damn nice lar can.. =)

and anyway, the hunt is still on tomorrow..
and so we shall walked and walked and walked..
till we dropped. hehehe..
nice rhyme. =p

before i forget, i'm involved with xiaowei for the bollywood film too.. hehehe.. that's why can go hunt office together. hehehe..
and tomorrow is bbq day!
can see dear le! so happy.. =)




tired tired tired..
walk walk walk..
bbq bbq bbq..
and sing sing sing..
and eat eat eat..
=P i'm tired..
so tired..
i just wish to hibernate..
period.

and i'm tired of pple telling me that my parents are strict.
how many times in a week has this happen lar..
so sick of it..
it just makes me so wanna cry..
laugh all you want..
make fun all you want..
until one day..
when i no longer tolerate it..
the volcano will erupt..

people just don't freaking hell understand my situation..
just don't freakin hell understand why my parents are strict with me..
nobody does anyway..
double sighs..

Sunday, August 20, 2006 . 12:07 AM

The day where i need not worry about friendship problems anymore.

Life isn't smooth sailing. and of course, when a ship hits a rock, it gets shaky.
And all it needs is just a little effort to get that ship back on track and sailing beautifully and smoothly as before. =)

I had a great day today.
Not because things were settled.
But because of the few hours that dear and I spent outside. As usual, walking around aimlessly.. hehe..
Nothing beats a good hug and a warm hand from someone close to me.
The tiredness and everything. It just feels right knowing there's a shoulder to lean on. =)


Thankew dear..
For everything. =)

Friday, August 18, 2006 . 11:13 PM

gonna be a long post..
so bear with me..
just let me rant everything out..

i yearn to be free one day..
where my parents would give me the choice to go out as and when i like, and not by having a time curfew or whatsoever.
who doesn't?
especially people my age...

different people are just born into different backgrounds where each individual will have their own way of thinking either..
and sad to say, my thinking weren't quite the same as most of my friends who actually feel that we should enjoy life while we are young.
no doubt i agree with it.
we should enjoy life when we are young.
but as i said earlier on, it depends on each individual.

i feel kinda hurt when no one understands the type of situation i am in..
or even understands or knows what is going on around family like mine..
i'm different from many of my friends..

yes, i do envy my friends who can go out till late at night.
i do envy them when they can stay overnight.
i do envy them when they are free to do what they like.
but sad to say... i'm not brought up like that..

people do ask, why at the age of 19, going 20 type.. my parents are still restricting me?
yes.. i'm no longer a kid.. no longer a child. i'm entering adulthood..
but have anyone kindly spare a thought on how i feel when such questions are thrown at me?
how do people want me to react to this kinda questions?
to smile? to show some sian diao-ness? or to shrug my shoulders and say I don't know?

probably, i'm just trying to go back to the primary or secondary school days?
by being a good daughter and not disappointing any of them?
well, havent i disappoint my parents a number of times?
by skipping enrichment classes during primary school.. by being a defiant daughter..
maybe i'm just trying to make up for what has been lost during those years..
studying hard and getting into a good school?
maybe..

and moreover, I have 2 younger siblings..
with one starting to be the younger version of me during my primary school days..
except it's worst than what I am last time..
how do you expect me to stay out till late at night?
i would need to set an example for my younger siblings..
for whatever the younger siblings does, it's always the eldest in the wrong for the eldest never ever sets a good example for them to follow..
what else can I say?
to become defiant and more rebellious?
to tell my parents "NO! I want it THIS way."
I won't bring myself to do that..
never..

and...
i seriously quite hate the idea of being rejected by people who asks why sign on army?
i never want to get rejected for the type of studies i'm choosing..
never want to get rejected for the type of work i'm going to do after graduating..
I missed the chance once to study law at TP.
for i dreamt and aspire to be a lawyer one day.
people laughed and made fun of my aspiration once..
and i got dejected and gave up hope..
and now..
when i say i would like to sign on and follow in my parents footsteps..
do i get rejected and laughed at again?
will I?

until now, I still do hope to learn law and be a lawyer one day..
but where can i have the chance to do it?
in a University?
I wished I could either.. but with a GPA less than 3.. it's useless..
sighs..

I really don't know..
It's really how each individual is being brought up as..
the environment that each individual is living at..
I'm different..
and I'm tired of comparing myself with other people..
and so I hope.. people would stop comparing themselves with me..



all i ask for is some understanding.. a little will do..
for i'm never like any of my friends out there.. =(

Thursday, August 17, 2006 . 11:52 PM

i'm tired...
i'm shagged...
i'm a little burnt...
after walking under the hot sun for 2 to 3 hours at kembagan..
walking up and down the different streets..
just to look for a 2-storey house.
sighs..
i'm dying soon..
after less than a week of work at UDC.

the same goes for xiaowei and senghee..
we are dying soon..
somebody save us..
sighs...

and this sat..
how will i feel?
how will i react?
will everything be fine?
what if after clarifying things hurts more?
sighs....

and everyone is busy earning money..
i wish i could too..
seems very money-minded..
but that's life..
with everything increasing.. people will tend to ask for more..
and worst, i'm doing something tiring which i think i might like but ended up, disliking it..
so much for being in the video production line.
sighs...

and with all the exciting projects that dear gonna do.. double sighs..
sigh sigh sigh..

i'm going through a mundane life..
please save me...
somebody..
anybody..





i so wanna cry now.. =(
no BIG MICKEY.
no dear dear.
no money.
no holiday.
no rest.
=(

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 . 10:49 PM

first day of work.
bored bored bored.
am supposed to do location scouting.
seems easy yet so hard.
but i'm luckier than xiaowei..
but at the same time, i felt bad to leave xiaowei alone upstairs. =(
if i hadnt had mc yesterday, maybe i would not have left her upstairs already..
anyway, our pay 600bucks. guess its better than 440 bucks. it will even be worse when itp officially starts.
but well, we are still trying hard to adapt to the environment there.
the environment there is nice. the people there are nice.
it just takes time to adapt to a new environment i guess.
anyway, met dear today after work.
guess it'll be long before i get to see him again.
other than this coming sat to go walk walk.. else it will be so long.. =(












missing you lots...

Sunday, August 13, 2006 . 4:49 PM

stomach aint feeling very good lately.
went to see a doctor this morning, and i got a mc for tomorrow's work. =(
first day of work and yet i got a mc. felt a bit bad to leave xiaowei alone.
and i will need to go for an ultrasound near stomach area tomorrow too. =(
wonder how does it look like and how does it feels.
a little scared of it too.
haiz..
just hope nothing really happen lar.
just hope it's those stomach upset and whatsoever.
haiz haiz haiz..

and my appetite aint good lately too.
just having no mood to eat anything.
and i seriously feel very very extremely tired lately too.
haiz haiz haiz..




missing you..

Friday, August 11, 2006 . 12:03 AM

FYP is over! woo hOO!!
went school at 9am today to get ready for 3.30pm presentation.
so exciting.
so nervous.
so happy.
and so many thoughts and feelings rushing through my mind.
had to memorise my script. well everyone needs to. haha.
after lunch, went 2056 to try the video as well as rehearse our presentation.
anyway, nothing good happened.
but well, it's over. =)
come 3.30pm, we were all waiting outside for the group inside to end..
and by the time they havent come out, i'm already having butterflies in my stomach. hehehe..
and when it's our turn, we are glad to made the judges laugh with our act of 6 different types of people in NDP 2006. A funny act we have put up. Not much effort needed for it as it's all right in our heads the actions that the 6 different types of people are doing.
And we are having absolute FUN acting. Hehehehe..

Time for presentation.
was so nervous that I stuttered most of the time and forgot my speech. =x
but anyway, everyone did a great presentation. =)
judges comments were about the same as interim.
not much negative comments, but those were the things we should take note the next time if we do such a documentary again.
and jen always got cut off when it's her turn to give comments and suggestions. hahaha.
partly because we over-ran by 30mins. Lol.. hehehe...
anyway, we waited for jen to end before heading down to city area for ptn dinner.

our dinner was great. so full. hehehe. coz i ate alot. joy was surprised i managed to clear my dinner. hahaha.. =p
talked quite alot about this whole project over dinner..
generally, everyone were having a great time today. =)

last but not least, those filming sessions we had were not to be forgotten.
for it's the last parade at national stadium.
the last time we are doing fyp.
the last time we will be in school.
the last time we will have so much fun and laughter.
and of course, we have such great team members and a great supervisor.
what else can we asked for more?

we are just so relieved that FYP is over. over. over. over... hoorAy!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 . 9:37 PM

2 more days and we are through.
busy preparing for our final lap of FYP - final presentation.
it's gonna be so exciting..
the things we are going to do since we are the 2nd last group. hehehe.
can i video tape it? lolz..

anyway, preparation for presentation kinda slack. hahaha..
watching tokyo drift and initial d. lolz.. two days in a row.. hehe..
and we forgot to trial run on the computers in 2056 for thursday presentation. hehehe.
anyway, tomorrow having a meeting again. at tiong bahru. hehe.
hope all goes well. =)

Friday, August 04, 2006 . 11:26 PM

*yawns* I'm tired..
every afternoon I will be back home sleeping till 6+ hehe.. piggy me..
tomorrow shall go out again..
go eat and shop and walked.
and at night, i have to start work. hehe.
just a few more days and we'll be through.
we can do it!
i'm positively sure of it. =)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 . 9:27 PM

I seriously am getting irritated by certain things lately.
If you know me, you will know it.
I don't want to put on a pretense that everything's fine and stuffs.
Maybe when they say never go over the limit with a person's patience, it's true.
It will not end so fast. Not yet.
For this facade will still be going on.....

Anyway, had AAUP practical test yesterday. Quite alright. At least it gives me a glimmer of hope that I can achieve a little better than what I expected? Hehe..
Had dinner at long john silver -tampines mall. As a way of celebrating 18 months? Hahaha..
Well, someone still owed me quite a number of things huh? Hehehehe.. *grins*

Had AAUP re-recording on Monday. As well as doing the DSP-ing. After that home sweet home. And since there's nothing much, I played Sims 2 at nite.. till the wee hours before sleeping. =)

And our Final Presentation is scheduled on the 10th August 2006 (Thursday) at 5pm. Last group okays? How are we supposed to hang on for so long?? *sighs*