Tuesday, July 31, 2007 . 10:28 PM

I miss you.
Badly.
How on earth can I really let you go successfully?
I don't even think so I will ever let go successfully..
You came into my life..
You made a big impact in my life..
You made me smile and laugh..
You loved and cared for me the most.. one which no one else can ever managed to do that..

So now that you are gone, what am I really supposed to do?
Without you, my life collapsed.
Everything we used to built up has fallen apart..
What am I supposed to do?

Is your life still the same as when we were together?
Has your life collapsed too?
Do you even think of how am I feeling?
Do you even bother to give me a call at times to see how am I doing?
Do you even miss me at times?

Sighs..

One day, I hope..
I'll be able to get you out of my mind...
In this case, I'll be able to slowly build up all the broken pieces and fixed them again with someone else..
Someone who will never foresake me despite knowing the hardest truth/s..
Someone who will hold my hands in the dark and in crowded places like you do..

I hope.. I pray.. I wish...

Monday, July 30, 2007 . 11:13 PM

Back to using blogger again.
Still using wordpress at the same time.
Perhaps a double entry next time?
yeah!

2months since we went separate ways.
wonder how I even managed to survive.
yes. my life was hell when he left.
suicidal thoughts came so often.
but I brushed all these away.
because, if he doesn't love me after all that has happened between us, nothing I do will ever make him love me again.

my life is still like hell now.
what exactly lies behind my smiles..
nobody knows.
i think i'm so used to hiding my feelings at times, that no one can actually figured out what's with me.

i still cry at night..
the nights when i missed him so much..
the nights when i needed him by my side so badly..
the nights when my parents made life so hard for me to breathe in..
i do cry.
but who's there to hold me close and let my tears flow?
it used to be him. but it's now what he left for me.. the mickeys he bought..

why is life so hard?
sigh..