Monday, July 30, 2007 . 11:13 PM

Back to using blogger again.
Still using wordpress at the same time.
Perhaps a double entry next time?
yeah!

2months since we went separate ways.
wonder how I even managed to survive.
yes. my life was hell when he left.
suicidal thoughts came so often.
but I brushed all these away.
because, if he doesn't love me after all that has happened between us, nothing I do will ever make him love me again.

my life is still like hell now.
what exactly lies behind my smiles..
nobody knows.
i think i'm so used to hiding my feelings at times, that no one can actually figured out what's with me.

i still cry at night..
the nights when i missed him so much..
the nights when i needed him by my side so badly..
the nights when my parents made life so hard for me to breathe in..
i do cry.
but who's there to hold me close and let my tears flow?
it used to be him. but it's now what he left for me.. the mickeys he bought..

why is life so hard?
sigh..