Thursday, December 02, 2004 . 3:27 PM

felt really down ytd.. infact actually i think for the past few days i've been like that, blowin hot and cold.. it's kinda weird that this temper of mine is actually showing up again.. maybe i think too much.. i don't know. it's really been long since i really felt so lousy.. that i felt like screaming and crying.. and when was the last time that i cried? a few days after my birthday or on the day of my birthday after seeing what i shouldn't have seen in friendster? maybe come again, we weren't really good frenz.. it's just the starting.. good friends always tell things to each other one rite? is that so? *ponders*

slept at 2 last nite. I just couldn't slp at all. Not even after crying for that short little while. Keep waking up in the middle of the night.. hoping that it's already 9+ or 10+ in the morning. but no! the time is only 5+ 7+.. it's still long. sometimes, i really ponder about so many things. why isn't anybody who seriously can care for me? are their care just for show? *thinking hard* when's exactly the last time that they cared? after my gastric pain a few months bacK? *sigh* why is this world just like that? haiz..